One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousineWhen he saw two men along the roadside eating
grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got Out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man Replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife an two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to The other poor man he stated, "You come with us, Too." The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But Sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, Even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the Lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you For taking all of us With you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really Love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."

"The American Indians found out what happens when you don't control immigration"

Subject: The Latest Scam


>HOME DEPOT SCAM!!! PLEASE READ!

A "heads up" for those men who may be regular Home Depot
customers. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam
while out shopping.
Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite
traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or
your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 30-35 year-old women come over to
your car as you are packing your shopping into your vehicle. They both
start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts
almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to
look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and
instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot or Lowe's. You agree
and they get in the back seat.

On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over
into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other
one steals
your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen April 20th, & 24th. Also May 1st, 4th,
twice on the 10th, three times just yesterday
and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

Thought for the day:
"Calling an illegal alien an
"undocumented immigrant" is like
calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist."

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten million bucks.

This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit. He got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that as a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollar is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzio's backyard in Brooklyn!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger.

Don't you just love lawyers ?!!
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